Sexual Harrassment Mostly Male Stupidity; Finding Love Mostly Female Misunderstanding

This is an over-simplification, but men tend play at love to get sex; women play at sex to get love. When the game is over, both parties lose, but women lose more. Women often invite harrassment by dressing immodestly. Sexual harrassment is sad news daily. Dating problems don’t have to be so difficult.

Here’s a remedy in a true story as a good example. Richard’s former wife died of a prescription drug reaction. This is more common that most people know,

Richard wanted to remarry soon, so he joined a single’s group online, and he met lots of women who wanted to marry, but they all wanted him to move where they lived and get acquainted. That seemed risky. Relocation is costly, and what if, after getting acquainted, she wasn’t “the one.”

Two stories impacted his ability to marry quickly and happily. A pastor related being asked to marry a couple but the parents of the girl did not want them to marry. They said, He’s not right for our girl. Please help us! 

The pastor met with the couple and said he would marry them on one condition. For one week, they were to visit each evening and talk about anything they wanted to talk about, but no hugging or kissing.

They agreed. The girl called the pastor several days later and said, “He’s the biggest bore I’ve ever met in my life!” She had been misled by feeling and affection.

The 2nd story was related on Focus on the Family. First century marriages were contracted when a man and his son would visit another home of a man and his daughter.

The men would discuss price and the young couple might be talking for the first time. They probably talked about everything—work, family, kids, religion, sex, etc.

If both conversations were happy, the father would give his son a cup of grape juice to offer the young lady. He would say, This is my blood—I would shed it for you.

If she accepted it and drank, she was accepting his offer of marriage and he would return home to build a room on his father’s house and she would sew and get ready for his return and the wedding then.

In the above two stories, physical affection is shown to only cloud the issues. Millions of youth think they have love, but when it comes to duties and responsibilities, they are often clueless.

Marriage is about relationships and responsibilities. Affection and sex is the frosting on the cake, but all frosting and no cake can make on sick soon.

There needs to be some common interests and goals or freedom to pursue what is important to each. A good understanding of money and how it’s spent is important.

When there is Social Security, each might spend or savie theirs as they see fit and split mutual expenses.

Richard, in this story, decided to ask the women on the internet if they wanted a ‘biblical marriage’ which he explained as discussing the issues as in the second story above.

If both parties are wise to discuss what is important to them, and if they are honest, they can make their choice accordingly. One area  that needs special focus is money. 

In Richard’s case, he and prospective bride both got Social Security, so  it was easy for them to split necessary expenses like food, phone and electric bills proportionately. After that, she could spend her money as she wished and same for  Richard.

Based on good discussion, Richard flew to Phoenix on a Thursday and the first kiss was at the wedding on Saturday. That was eight years ago and Richard says it’s a mutual happiness that exceeds his former marriage.

He believes that if both parties are willing to give more than they take, it will work. Key Bible figures like Jacob and Moses found their wives watering sheep at a well. This idea suggests involvement in some form of ministry.

As an added bonus, Richard didn’t realize how important good nutrition and healthful cooking were, but finds himself blessed in this marriage.

Richard Ruhling is a physician whose focus in retirement is current events and biblical topics of relevance. His book, God Bless America? has great information on the wedding parables and has been well-liked with 4-5 star reviews at  and readers can also get a free app to read ebooks on phone or computer. For a short video overview of Daniel’s prophecy, see

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